Friday, August 10, 2012

Irony

Well there is some irony for you! As much as I've been complaining about my current Bible class and the anxiety that it seems to be adding to my predicament, I find it interesting that this week the focus is on the book of Hebrews. I finally acquiesced and read through the book today and oddly enough it completely spoke to everything that has been going on with me and shed a much needed fresh perspective on suffering. It was unexpectedly very helpful. It also reminded me that I need to be reading my Bible more than I have been lately. On a side note I have decided that I no longer wish to continue with this degree as it will not further my career and it seems to be doing me more harm than good. There are some other reasons too, but I think one of the biggest reasons is that my motives were all wrong. The truth is I don't really know what I want to be when I grow up, I'm just feeling so desperate to be something more than what I am. I have a love/hate relationship with counseling, it does feel good to do something meaningful and I like helping people, what I hate about it is the responsibility and the politics that come with working in an agency. Regardless, I think I do want to go back to work, although I would prefer it to be part-time but my family's current financial situation demands that I will need to work full-time. I think I can do it. The hardest part is going to be not being home with my kids as much as I would like, although I am thinking about homeschooling next year. My concerns are with their disabilities that they need their mother. Why does life have to be so hard? (Rhetorical question)


2 comments:

  1. Considering the year you have had, I totally understand why your interest in the degree has faded. In spite of your children's disabilities, and your need to work, homeschooling might be a way to hold on to your kids a bit longer. And it could be really good for them. It is possible to homeschool and work, I know of a number of people who do it, including myself. If you want to get a little more insight into homeschooling your kids consider checking out the Welcome to Homeschooling Guide. It is a place to start if you really are considering homeschooling. I hope that you find that you can homeschool, it might be really good for your family.

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    1. Thanks Linda, I'm going to need all the help I can get if we decide to homeschool. Our kids have been attending a private Christian school and for the most part it has been very positive, however, last year in 4th grade my son got his first experience with bullying and I had my eyes opened to some other things that I was told was "normal" behavior for this age group. Then I reflected on my own experience from about 6th grade on and wondered if it would be better to just bypass that whole middle school/high school drama altogether. I also found out last year that my son is gifted musically and is already playing 3 instruments and wants to learn a 4th so I'm thinking this will free him up to focus on that. As for my daughter, we were very blessed last year in 2nd grade that she had an amazingly patient teacher, however, I'm worried about her being able to keep up with the demands of the older grades. She has ADHD and we tried to medicate her in 1st grade (I was extremely reluctant) but it changed her personality and I have no intentions of doing that again. I know she would be successful at home. At this point, I think we're leaning closer to doing it, but we are going to take the year to decide. I know that if we do decide to home school, I have no regrets about having sent them to early elementary school and would have done that all over again. I know most people tend to do it the other way around, homeschool in elementary and then high school in public schools, but with the way schools are today a public high school is the last place I want my children to be.

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